i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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