between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
