So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize