We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
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We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
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That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize