wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
