Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Shame - the story of my life.
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