she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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