Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
