you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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