Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
