So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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