lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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