i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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