i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The air taste purple.
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