Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All the doctor said was why
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
