The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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