I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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