too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
