she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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