DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
