I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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