If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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