Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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