About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
