Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
