My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize