Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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