I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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