Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize