Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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