My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize