I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize