i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize