You're so nebulous sometimes
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
