I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
