The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize