Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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