The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
