cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize