I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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