is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
