also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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