So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the day after is always just damage control
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
