He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize