WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
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You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon