i wish my penis had a tongue
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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