Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
