The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
