after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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