There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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