I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
