can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
