I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize