We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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