yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
