his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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