Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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