So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"