Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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(612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g

Replies (3) Good night (3645) Bad night (763)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.

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(225): i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/sgts

Replies (16) Good night (1907) Bad night (716)
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(845): View more from New York

If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.

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(845): If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt. http://tfl.nu/ayuf

Replies (147) Good night (1966) Bad night (5680)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do

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(856): I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do http://tfl.nu/mquj

Replies (34) Good night (3760) Bad night (773)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

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(919): Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously? http://tfl.nu/b5p0

Replies (71) Good night (2160) Bad night (6701)
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(905): View more from Toronto

we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.

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(905): we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats. http://tfl.nu/s3b9

Replies (10) Good night (3620) Bad night (612)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level

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(203): Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level http://tfl.nu/l6je

Replies (14) Good night (3825) Bad night (1519)
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(561): View more from Florida

I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.

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(561): I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life. http://tfl.nu/gxts

Replies (2) Good night (1721) Bad night (976)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

(410): View more from Maryland

The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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(443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5

Replies (10) Good night (1027) Bad night (2136)
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(512): View more from Texas

Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

(210): View more from Texas

No

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(512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool (210): No http://tfl.nu/m5ry

Replies (4) Good night (2079) Bad night (669)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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(404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q

Replies (20) Good night (3783) Bad night (1001)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.

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(732): I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/lb71

Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (421)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.

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(202): As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point. http://tfl.nu/0upo

Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (337)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.

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(706): Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow. http://tfl.nu/th57

Replies (0) Good night (567) Bad night (295)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.

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(217): I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five. http://tfl.nu/ev47

Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (300)

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