oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The struggles of a small town man whore