It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.