Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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  (773): hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her. http://tfl.nu/rlge
  Replies (8) Good night (907) Bad night (806)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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  (224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk
  Replies (18) Good night (966) Bad night (2794)
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  (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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  (562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7
  Replies (13) Good night (4491) Bad night (1102)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore

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  (541): I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore http://tfl.nu/6v6s
  Replies (10) Good night (4894) Bad night (643)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

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  (406): she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure. http://tfl.nu/ut3o
  Replies (5) Good night (1353) Bad night (2673)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...

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  (416): Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card... http://tfl.nu/vpen
  Replies (9) Good night (4264) Bad night (918)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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  (978): I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it. http://tfl.nu/93wr
  Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (1000)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.

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  (403): I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress. http://tfl.nu/setw
  Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (651)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about

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  (309): And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about http://tfl.nu/0jvp
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (982)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..

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  (604): I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them.. http://tfl.nu/ddtu
  Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (516)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

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  (904): And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept... http://tfl.nu/rhyx
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (299)
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  (315): View more from New York

  EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

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  (315): EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS http://tfl.nu/jrog
  Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (765)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on

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  (864): She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on http://tfl.nu/qa30
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (400)
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  (818): View more from California

  Tell me how you feel about belly buttons

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  (818): Tell me how you feel about belly buttons http://tfl.nu/4apq
  Replies (3) Good night (432) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo

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  (773): i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo http://tfl.nu/4n46
  Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (491)

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