So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the day after is always just damage control
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was like giving head to a cactus.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!